uni!

06Oct08

Ok, so this has pretty much been the only chance I’ve had to sit down and write about whats going on. Which is ridiculous because now I cant remember as much as I would of liked too!

I feel as if I’m getting a cold, I was standing strong being the only person in the house who hadnt got ill yet and I’m fading. Dave was supposed to come over today so I’m kind of glad he didnt seeing as I dont even have the energy to rustle some food up. Apparently someone in our halls had Melingitus and even tho I’m pretty sure its not that, I wouldnt want it.

Ok, I’ll talk about my actual subjects first and move on to the social side next. Mondays is my Sociology day, I have Sexuality, Subcultures and Stigma in the morning and a Sociological Thinking tutorial two hours later. Today we did about Becker, Goffman and a little bit about Matza and Cohen. I’d done all this at A Level so to be honest I was a bit dissappointed. I had hoped for more this week, seeing as last week was a general overview of what we’d be studying. After that I have student counselling, I have a really nice counseller, she is very supportive and its like hving a chat with someone rather than feeling theyre judging you. I had a bit of a cry today because of saturdays happenings but I guess I’m on the road to dealing with this self esteem issue. After that I popped to Natwest to collect my Debit Card which has my loan and grant in, however this took an hour and a fucking half. Needless to say I missed my first tutorial, felt unbelievably angry and ill, didnt get my card but walked out with £55 after another very long queue. I got home and waited for Dave to call and ended up falling asleep. He’s getting tattooed in Leeds on Friday so hes coming then instead.

I had Samurai and The Sacred on thursday which is ourlecture on Japanese religion, culture and tradition. I went to meet Jayson and just as I walked off he found me. We had a quiz and we managed about half a point between us out of 20. Hahah! Luckily the top mark was 10 and most of us looked pretty puzzled, hence why we’re there! Jayson walked into town with me after as I needed to pick up my photos from Boots and then I bought a new purse and a pig ashtray in Urban Outfitters. He left to go to his student society thing and I met Andy for a bit and we bummed about in town.

Sociological Thinking is pretty good. The tutor rattles on for ages however so its very hard to note take when hes going off on a million tangents but its interesting and worth being there for it. I walked up with Iain and his 2 friends from Block A & B, one of them who lives in Basingstoke! Very weird. Hes in my halls and on the same course and same Uni. Weird weird. I saw Paul for a bit too, he said he was trying to get my attention through the lecture but I was people watching without my glasses and obviously trying to pay attention to the ramblings.

Saturday was a bit of a disaster, I feel a bit shit about it even now. Fleur had come up on Friday and we went to Leeds Met for a bit. Ally, Kate, Jamie and Johnny were there. But soon as I got in pretty much some long haired boys shouted “EUGH” at me, so me and Fleur waged a bit of a war on them with cups flying at heads. Got to dance a bit and then busted when everyone wigged out. Fleur had a makeshift bed out of 4 pillows. Looked quite comfy. Then we went to Manchester, Chloe was supposed to come but she was still at Oli’s so it was me, Kim and Fleur. Kim went to meet her ex for a bit whilst me and Fleur hit the Hard Rock Cafe. I had the nicest veggie burger and chips and I  bought one of those cocktail glasses, which isnt as good as the Paris one but its important! Me and Fleur are trying to find Hard Rock Cafe tshirts from Japan, or somewhere crazy to buy. Manchester doesnt realyl cut it. We went shopping for a bit. I got some new jeans from Topshop which are lush and comfy! A waistcoat which is grey which red and white stripes from Urban Outfitters, a pink & black lumberjack cigarette holder and some heels with ruffles down the front. Very good purchsing day. We did however have to run to the car in the pouring rain.

Anyway, that wasnt the bad part of the day. We were having people round ours which was all fun, had ome drinking games and new people over but towards then end I ended up in my room feeling crap and lonely and decided to use my newest tool in ruining my life, fingers down the throat. My veggie burger came up and even though it was lovely I was glad I was empty. Because quite alot came up my throat was really painful and I kept coughing and getting palpitations so I layed down for a bit. Fleur came in and I think she had realised what happened, we got ready anyhow and went to the Faversham. Kim and Anna were going to come but Anna backed out so it was us 3 again. I wasnt eactly ecstatic to be there but we were having fun. Then Davey and Ben turn up walking in like their the shit. Have a good banter and stuff and then Ben puts his hands on my thighs and starts pointing out girls Davey has slept with. He pointed at this one girl with red hair, fat hanging out of her clothes and grinding up against some guy. Needless to say, I was massively pissed off. A few reasons why…a) Davey decided to text me recently telling me he was in love with me etc etc, we have hung out and I thought we were friends again…Ben telling me that fucked with my head…I dont need people lying to me or trying to emtionally fuck with me. b) She was rough, he will have sex with anything, I was insulted that I ever went near him. c) I didnt want to know, nor did I fucking ask to know. I kept walking off to the bar which clearly wasnt helping as I was drinking more and more and getting more and more upset and angry about it. Fleur and Kim cheered me up nd we danced to some good music and there were lots of hot guys. Then Fleur went to speak to pieface Winter and Tom and the club ended and we all went outside for a cig and to Fleurs car. A guy started chatting to me and took my number and Davey came over and started being a knob. I walked  off in a huff to Fleur and the guys and I cant remember much of the conversation except they were tking the piss out of me for being with Davey and Tom said I threw water at him once at an Atreyu show. Then we got in the car, which was stupid and Fleur was drunk and there were 4 people in the backseat. Rich and Tom kept winding me up so I was going nuts at them. And shouting out the window calling everyone a cunt. Not happy. Then they came back to the flat and stayed for like 5 mins and hinted very unsubtly they could leave anytime. Tom stayed over and jumped in my bed, I took my tablets which knocked me out but I do remember him trying it on with me and it just wasnt worth it. I’m shit. I have these unreal urges to have sex and then some days not at all. I miss Dave and although I’m very good at playing off my feelings as they mean nothing, I guess I care alot about him. Since I’ve been here my head has been fucked, I dont have chane to stop and think about what im doing or whats going on.

I’ll write some more stories in a bit. Shower time  x x x x

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Tags: drinking, ex boyfriends, partying, sociology, University