where do i start?

11Nov08

Its been a while since I’ve written. My head hurts thinking about it.

One new thing in my life that, is weird to say, that I’m really happy about is me & Alex. I am weirdly happy and today when we were cuddling I was smiling so much. And genuinly. I dont know how its possible someone has made me feel like this as I am usually an un- selconfessed ice queen in relationships and can hide my feelings away pretty easy and pretend theyre not there, or just not have them completely. So for this to come along is completely out of the blue. Dave never made me feel secure or happy, I was always worried and thought bad things about myself and the relationship and never felt I could open up & when I tried he just wouldnt respond. Wheras I feel comfortable telling Alex cos he can just laugh it off or make a bad or serious conversation comfortable and not a big deal. He bought me cigarettes, pringles and jelly tots the other day by surprise to my flat. He came and sat with me in the library on my hour break. I feel all soppy right now, after he left I felt so awake and happy, atm I’m worried about certain people & this weekend & MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!! the bane of my exsistenec.efneoce.

Ive got reading week for Theology this week. Lucky I didnt get up and go to my lecture this morning cos I wanted a lie in! Me and Alex went into town and we had a wagamamas and I got Fleurs birthday present (finally!) phew! Its a nautical cardi, these nice brown coloured leggings with foothole things and some rose earrings. I might get her something else too but really with the little monies I have I probably shouldnt!

I ordered these on the credit card yesterday. Fucks sake.

In 28.5mm and the others are silcone and in ‘true blue’. Niiice.

Going to subculture later yay! Me Andy and Alex went to cockpit last week and it was mega fun. Seomone took a picture of me for a magazine. Weird.

Stuff that is interesting me:

YES WELLIES.

I LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH:

oooh hopefully posting these will help me not buy them. Ive got this stupid essay to do on ailentated labour, I NEED to get inspired! its not working. ive got the opposite effect of thing of all things material and posessiony! ok im off this has taken far too long ! xxxx

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